Pregnancy After Infertility Counseling in Massachusetts
You finally have the positive test. So why doesn’t it feel safe?
Pregnancy after infertility is the experience of becoming pregnant after a long stretch of trying, fertility treatment, IVF, IUI, or loss. For many people, it is not the clean exhale they imagined.
After months or years of negative tests, cancelled cycles, and phone calls from the clinic, a positive result can bring relief and fear at the same time. You may have spent so long protecting yourself from disappointment that hope now feels risky.
You can be grateful to be pregnant and still not trust it yet.
I’m Ashley Luongo, LMHC, PMH-C, a licensed mental health counselor who has worked in mental health since 2011. My practice focuses on infertility, pregnancy loss, pregnancy after loss, and perinatal mental health. I provide pregnancy after infertility counseling for adults in Massachusetts and Rhode Island, in person in Franklin, MA and by telehealth.
Why Pregnancy After Infertility Can Feel So Complicated
Infertility often teaches your nervous system to brace for bad news. Every test result, beta, and ultrasound was a moment when things could go wrong, and sometimes they did. That learning doesn’t switch off the day you see a heartbeat.
You may also be carrying grief from earlier cycles, embryos that didn’t make it, or pregnancies that ended. A new pregnancy doesn’t erase those experiences. And because so many people see a pregnancy after infertility as a happy ending, there can be very little room to say that you are scared.
Pregnancy after infertility anxiety can look like:
- Waiting for something to go wrong
- Checking symptoms constantly, or worrying when they fade
- Dreading each ultrasound or blood draw
- Feeling lost after “graduating” from your fertility clinic
- Difficulty bonding or making plans for the baby
- Guilt for not feeling as happy as you expected
- Feeling out of place with friends who conceived easily
- Holding back from loved ones still trying to conceive
None of these reactions mean you are ungrateful or that something is wrong with you.
Not Quite Fitting Anywhere
Many people describe feeling in between worlds. You may no longer feel like you belong in infertility communities, yet pregnancy groups and baby showers can feel foreign after everything it took to get here.
There can also be survivor’s guilt toward friends who are still waiting, and frustration when people say things like “See, it all worked out.” Your experience of infertility still matters, even now that you are pregnant.
If pregnancy loss is part of your path, pregnancy after loss therapy may also speak to what you’re carrying.
How Therapy Can Help During Pregnancy After Infertility
Therapy isn’t about convincing you to relax or enjoy every moment. It’s a place to make sense of what you’re feeling and find ways to be present in this pregnancy without needing to feel certain first. Depending on what fits for you, our work may include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) skills
CBT-informed strategies can help you notice anxious patterns, such as constant symptom checking or reassurance seeking, and build ways of responding that feel less consuming.
EMDR therapy
When fertility treatment, procedures, or losses still feel distressing, EMDR therapy may help some people process those memories so they intrude less on the present. EMDR isn’t the right fit for everyone, and we would decide together whether it makes sense for you.
Supportive counseling
Sometimes what helps most is a steady space to talk honestly about hope, fear, grief, and everything in between, with someone who already understands the language of infertility.
Working With a Therapist Who Understands Infertility
I have completed a year-long postgraduate course in infertility counseling and hold a Perinatal Mental Health Certification (PMH-C). I also have EMDR training through an EMDRIA-approved program and a background in CBT.
That means you don’t have to explain what a beta is or why a transfer date matters. We can spend our time on how you’re actually doing. I welcome people of all genders and family structures, including LGBTQ+ families, single parents by choice, and people who used donor gametes or a gestational carrier.
This work can continue through pregnancy and into postpartum, which can bring its own challenges after a long road to parenthood. You can read more about postpartum therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel anxious during pregnancy after infertility?
Yes. Anxiety is a common and understandable response after infertility, especially if you experienced failed cycles or pregnancy loss. Your mind has learned to expect bad news, and it can take time to feel safer. Therapy can help when the worry is taking up more space than you want it to.
Why don’t I feel happier now that I’m finally pregnant?
Many people expect pure joy and instead feel numb, guarded, or afraid. Infertility can involve years of protecting yourself from disappointment, and those protective habits don’t disappear right away. Feeling mixed emotions doesn’t mean you don’t want this baby.
Can I keep seeing a therapist after I leave my fertility clinic?
Yes. Moving from a fertility clinic to a regular OB or midwife can feel unsettling, and therapy can provide continuity during that transition. You can continue therapy throughout pregnancy and into the postpartum period.
Do you offer telehealth for pregnancy after infertility counseling?
Yes. I offer telehealth for adults located in Massachusetts and Rhode Island, as well as in-person sessions at my office in Franklin, Massachusetts.
Is EMDR safe during pregnancy?
EMDR is a talk-based therapy that doesn’t involve medication. Whether it’s a good fit during pregnancy depends on your history and how you’re feeling, so we would talk it through carefully before starting. You can also check in with your prenatal care provider about any questions.
Related Support
- Infertility counseling – support while trying to conceive and during fertility treatment
- Secondary infertility counseling – when it’s hard to grow your family
- Pregnancy after loss therapy – for pregnancy after miscarriage or other loss
- Postpartum therapy – for the transition after your baby arrives
Pregnancy After Infertility Counseling in Massachusetts & Rhode Island
If pregnancy after infertility feels more complicated than you expected, you don’t have to wait until it feels unbearable to reach out.
I offer in-person therapy in Franklin, MA and telehealth throughout Massachusetts and Rhode Island.